Yes, you read correctly: I am no longer a virgin. In the last 24 hours, I have lost several of my virginal states.
I have a weird body that refuses to follow the rule of, "a positive opk indicates that one will ovulate within 24-48 hours." Oh, no; for me, it's more like anywhere from 12-24 hours later, which makes timing inseminations a very risky business. Well, I got a positive opk yesterday morning, and insemmed early last night. For the first time, I have had an anonymous stranger's joy-juice floating around in my va-jay-jay.
After the giggly time of laying down with my hips propped slightly for the recommended 20-30 minutes, I decided to double my pleasure, double my fun, by using an Instead cup. I figured, couldn't hurt, might help, so I opened the package, and stupidly decided to use the thing for the first time EVER. Did I mention that I was still lying down? So there I was, hips propped up, and sticking this cervical cup up my hoo-hah. I am far more familiar with my genitalia that the average person. Go me. It actually went in easily, and I was very proud that I'd gotten it in without any trouble. Another first accomplished! Of course, getting it out was another thing altogether.
Four hours later, I decided to take the Instead cup out. Those people should be flayed with a cat o'nine for implying that it was easy to take it out. I tried every finger on my hand, laying down, sitting up, squatting, everything, and the damned thing wouldn't come out. I could feel it just fine, but it wasn't budging. Fifteen minutes later, I was convinced that I was going to have a very embarrassing visit at my doctor's office.
"Yes, I've shoved something up my vagina, and I can't get it out. No, no, it's not a gerbil or anything; just a cervical cup. Why? Oh, just for fun, I guess. The batteries ran out on my Silver Bullet, and I decided to try something new."
Anyway, I finally remembered a sentence that was waaaay in the middle of a big paragraph on the Instead cup instructions. I would like to say here, in this public forum, that this should be in bold print, underlined, and in a separate paragraph all of its own. If you bear down (like you're having the biggest shit of your life, or perhaps giving birth-- not like I'd know what that was like!), it'll kinda push the cup forward where you can snag it easily and pull it out. Once I figured that out, it was easy sailing.
So now I'm just enduring the nail-biting wait to see if I actually ovulated or not. And then it'll be the TWW. And then... Well, you guys all know the drill.
And for the 2.3 people (how do you have a fraction of a person, I wonder?) who've asked me about the friend/known donor situation, well, I have my doubts that it'll happen. I love the guy to death, but procrastination is his middle name. And since he has to find out the answers to some legal questions--which of course will take him 1,059 years (see "procrastination" above)-- I moved on to anonymous donor sperm for this cycle. I'm not getting any younger, and I didn't really want to miss out on a conception opportunity. It's possible that he/I/we will manage to get things worked out in time for my next cycle, but I'll just have to see.
2 comments:
YAY!
I am very excited for you, and we are almost the same DPO. I expect some entertainement from you later, as we both wait, and wait and wait.
I hope the KD thing works out if this time doesn't.
Congrats on the insem!! I hope it works for you. You made me laugh on the instead cup thing though - it was always getting it out that put me off using them. I mean, what if it suctioned itself to your cervix and made a big squelching noise when you removed it? Anyway, good luck!
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