A person who shall remain nameless asked me why, if my blog was supposed to be all about my TTC experiences, that I have some really goofy stuff posted on my blog. She thought that it took away from the "grittiness" and "realness" of the whole singleton-TTC thing.
There's a damned good reason for it: I am more than just my vagina and attached bits. Yes, I started this blog/journal because of my TTC journey; and yes, I spend way too much time dwelling on my fallopian tubes. But I can't let this 2.5 year trial by fire redefine my entire life, and completely change who I am.
Like everyone, I am more than just one thing, than just one quality. I love romantic comedies and action flicks. I like smirking and nodding knowingly when I see a guy with a great ass. And yeah, a good book can send me over the edge, laughing like a madwoman all alone in my room. Of course, I'm also a certified nerd, complete with comic books and video game addictions. And I love my family, with mom being number 1 on the list.
And there's also the bad bits. The laziness and fear of failure that sometimes makes me not even try new things; better not to try, than to fail, right? The insecurity and self-image problems that make me think that people don't/won't remember me, that I don't make enough of an impact to be "worthy" of remembering. The overwhelming arrogance that surfaces from time to time, convincing me that I know better than anyone else, and that you'd be a fool not to do everything my way, because of course, it is the best way.
So that's why I just go "off-topic" from time to time. If all I did was dwell on the angst of TTC, and on all the unpleasant parts of me, I'd be a basket case. Those bad bits are only a little bit of me, and this is my journal about ALL of me. I like to think that I'm a pretty nice person, relatively interesting, and fun to be around. So you should get to see something more than just my reports on my reproductive organs.
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