About a year ago on one of the message boards, there was a discussion amongst us IF girls about the proper pregnancy etiquette for those who made it over to the other side. Most people agreed that IF'ers who got pregnant shouldn't complain or fuss about pregnancy symptoms, and should be grateful for everything they were getting to go through; after all, there were so many who'd give anything to go through it, right?
I was not in agreement with the group. If I were in school, the note to my Mum would have read, "Does not play well with others." I believed that if I ever got pregnant, I would have every right in the world to complain about morning sickness or backaches. Just because I was a foot soldier in the Infertility War didn't mean I'd given up my rights as a prospective pregnant woman! Don't get me wrong; I think it's all about appropriate venues. I mean, I wouldn't go into a chat room full of women TTC and bitch. But in a pregnancy room, or on my own blog? It's going to happen, so be warned.
Even if I'm only pregnant for another 2 seconds, I want to remember all the things I felt, and one of the ways I do that is by writing about them on my blog. That said, here's my take on the early days of my pregnancy; your mileage may vary.
* "Tender breasts" is a lie. It would be more appropriate to say that my tits hurt from armpit to center chest. There is an overall soreness that seems to reach the height of pain at the nipples; if I touch the damn things, I will wince and/or whimper. And let's not forget the random, shooting, tingling pains that just scatter over your boobs with no warning. I am pretty much wearing some kind of bra almost 24 hours a day.
*Cramps: It's true what "they" say about cramps that feel just like PMS, when you're really pregnant. I swear to you all, that I just knew I was about to get my period. It felt exactly the same as period cramps until about 20 dpo. Then, for me at least, the cramps changed into something else.
*Fatigue: I have never felt this tired in all my life. Seriously. I knew fatigue was part of pregnancy, but I honestly thought it kicked in later. If I close my eyes for more than 3-5 seconds, I will fall asleep. I'm not kidding. It feels like that drugged & drowsy sensation you get when you have a cold, and you take a big dose of NyQuil-- sleepy, yet vaguely ill, and there seems to be a slightly unrealistic haze over the entire world. Except I feel like this all the time.
*Sleep: I didn't sleep for the first few nights after I found out I was pregnant, at least not more than 2-3 hours at a time. At first I thought it was just being scared and worried; then I figured it was just my body working out the nicotine; it's no easy thing to drop a 19-year smoking addiction cold-turkey! And it was probably mostly the nicotine, because after about three nights, I started sleeping better.
But I still wake up at least once a night, usually around 4am, and for no reason at all. Nope, don't have to pee; just waking up and staying awake for about an hour before I can go back to sleep. It's the most ironic thing, that I've never been so sleepy & tired in my life, and yet can't sleep well at night.
*Spotting, cramping, and other Bad Things: It doesn't matter how many years I've read about & researched early pregnancy, or how many times I've reassured other people that spotting/cramping is common, or how many people I know who've had it and everything was just fine. When you're the one pregnant, and you begin to spot and have different sorts of cramps, you will panic. You will be afraid. And nothing anyone tells you will change that, no matter how much you respect them or their knowledge or their experience (that is, unless they're wearing a white coat, and even that's not 100%). I finally get it.
*Smoking: If anyone is TTC and hasn't managed to quit smoking yet, I strongly urge you to do it now, before you get pregnant. Go through your cravings and insane moments before it counts for so much. It's a lot easier than I thought it would be, but it's still so incredibly hard. I know this will sound weird, but the thing that's helping me the most is keeping cigarettes around.
The pack that I was smoking before I peed on the pregnancy test has about 6-7 cigarettes in it. I've been carrying that partial pack, along with my favorite black-matte Zippo, around with me. Every single day, everywhere I go. See, my mind is kinda perverse in that, if I had no cigarettes, I'd want them even more, and would probably run off and buy a pack. And if I went and bought a pack, I can guarantee you I'd give in and smoke one (at least, until it made me gag).
But if I have them, there's no feeling of being deprived "just because I've run out". So I know at all times that I have them, and I could smoke if I had a weak moment and gave in. And just knowing that they are available makes me aware that every time I have that craving, I have to make the conscious choice not to touch them, not to give in. So far, so good. But I know I'm human, and I'll have to keep making that choice every.single.day.
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3 comments:
Your post is so right on. I am of the mind that when pregnant you can bitch all you need to and yes venue is important but on your blog or in a preg room definitely. I also remember the symptoms. My breasts hurt if air hit them when first preg with Bliss, no other times though. I did not, however, have pain when my milk came in after he was born and the early pain ended by second trimester.
The tiredness, I remember it so well. I also did not have it the other 2 pregnancies and it was something I always fretted about during my last pregnancy up until the m/c. I think it is a fantastic sign.
The cramps is also so true and so hard to tell others who have not experienced it. It feels JUST like your af is coming and always had fooled me, all 3 times.
I have no had spotting except my first preg/m/c which came at the exact same time.
As for smoking. I was a smoker who loved smoking right until just before the first pregnancy. I quit during the 2ww and got pregnant. Then when I m/c's at 6 weeks I picked them back up which I swear saved my sanity. When I got pregnant 3 months later first try back with Bliss I did not quit until my positive HPT. Even then I stopped to 2 a day for the first week down to maybe 1 a day or every other day the second week I knew. Then I stopped completely which coincided with the drastic "police dog" nose symptom. I could not stand the smell of smoking within a mile I swear. Your body will truly make sure you take care of it when pregnant. I also got sick at the smell of coffee early on and quit that fast even though I was only a cup a day drinker.
Congrats so much on this wonderuous
time for you, enjoy every second and talk about every minute detail, you will later be so happy you did.
Thanks for the great supportive comments as well.
I'm with you. As much as I want to be pregnant and will put up with any and all symptoms that come my way with the pregnancy, my nature is to whine a bit. I don't like being sick. Yes I would likely whine on my blog and my theory is that it's my blog, if someone doesn't like it then maybe they shouldn't be reading it. Another blogger whose blog I visit jokes about symptoms etc and got a reprimanding like comment on being happy that she was pregnant which I thought was totally inappropriate. There really aren't that many people who aren't going to complain at least a little.
I loved your description of symptoms! I had them all during my first pregnancy (up until the miscarriage) and have most of them now. The only mystery to me is the breast tenderness. It was awful last time and is only mildly uncomfortable this time. A new one for me this time around is constant hunger and nausea. If I don't eat, I get nauseous, if I get nauseous, I don't want to eat - and that makes it worse!
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