Fast times in the slow south

I was out running errands a while ago, and as I was driving home there was quite a spectacle in the oncoming traffic. There were 4-5 big tour buses, accompanied by about a half-dozen motorcycle cops. I wondered who in the hell could it be, driving through this town with an entourage like that? I mean, I don't keep up with sports, so it could have been some team. I can't think of any major concert that just happened/is about to happen, so I don't think it was a rock star rolling through. The only thing I could think of was maybe it's connected to a movie production, since for some strange reason people are filming a lot of movies here lately.

"Hello Mr... Bubba, is it? Can we rent out your farm for a month? We're shooting a movie, and your cotton fields are just FABulous."

Bubba spits out an almost-solid stream of brown 'bakky juice, dribbles of which enrich the already-brown crusty patches on his beard, before asking, "Whut kinda movie? And are you a man or a woman, with them purty, shiny fingernails?"

"Uh, it's a horror movie, where giant boll weevils decimate a town before the good-hearted, but misunderstood, high-school misfit saves the day. And I'm a man, by the way."

Flashback: I once saw a car get repossessed, and it really does happen as quickly as the TV shows say. One moment I was getting in my car to do some silly errand, and watched as a small tow-truck backed up to a car. It was blocking my favorite exit from the parking lot, so I had to go around the back lot to get to the other exit. By the time I got to the street, no more than 3-4 minutes later, the tow-truck was zooming down the road with the car. Now, mind you, I wasn't 100% sure it was a repo, but I knew the car wasn't disabled and I could tell something was weird from the way the tower acted. So following an insane urge, I mentally dropped my errands and took off after the tow truck. I probably followed them for about 15 minutes, cell phone ready, until they got to the part of town where the car-graveyards are. That's when I figured I'd wasted enough gas and time, and it was more than likely a repo.

Fast forward: Today I felt the same crazy urge, except this time it was pure curiosity. I really wanted to know what was up with the tour buses. I very nearly turned into the closest place-- a Wendy's-- so I could turn around and follow them, but I managed to fight the urge. Not because I'm so mature or anything, but because once I saw the Wendy's I really wanted a frostie.

I'm about 2dpo today, so officially (if I really stretch my imagination) premenstrual. And nothing stands between pseudo-PMSing me and pseudo-chocolate, not even the possibility of chasing down elusive celebrities.