Today= cd19 / probably 1dpo
This cycle has been really wacky, more like the cycles I had when I first started ovulating. Cm scant and inconclusive, no positive opk, no blaring/obvious ovulation pain. Despite all that, I'm fairly certain that I ovulated last night. My temp was up to nearly post-O range this morning, my ovary twinges have disappeared, and the scant cm is now non-existent.
I haven't felt this lost since the beginning, back in the days where I'm sure I drove "old-hands" crazy with my constant cries of, "Did I ovulate yet? I think I did. No, wait, maybe tomorrow?!?" After the first few months, I figured out my body and its signs, and knew what was up. This cycle has me stymied and depressed, because the signs didn't work right.
This sucks so hard, because I wasn't able to insem. because of various problems. So, my last medicated cycle (at least for a while, if not forever) is a bust. I chemically altered my body for nothing, as there is no chance whatsoever of pregnancy. It's bad enough when you miss a cycle because of medical problems or money issues, or things like that. But having taken meds, peed on sticks 3-4 times a day, played with my cm, and faithfully temp'ed, all to make the plan and timing work, well, I feel betrayed by my own body. The thesaurus in my head is temporary unavailable, so I'll just have to repeat: this sucks so hard.
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I'm sorry. That really does suck big time. Isn't it crazy how you seem to have everything all figured out and then your body throws a curve ball? Drives me nuts.
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