CD 14 and counting

I feel like I've walked over an invisible line in the sand, like something has changed forever. I've gone from "trying for a long time, but somehow still managing to fool myself that things aren't so bad", straight to "Nothing short of a star in the east is going to get me pregnant."

Yep, last Thursday my skinny little FedEx guy came into my office and handed me a package that contained my hcg trigger shot. There was something about actually holding that ovidrel syringe that made something click in my head, and I'm not completely sure what it is was, honestly.

I'm cd14 and I had an u/s this morning to check my follicles. As I would expect, as a PCOSer, I had about 16 small follicles, but I didn't care about those. I wanted to see something fat and grand, a nice big, black blot on that screen to assure me that something was going on this cycle. And there it was, on my left ovary: one 16mm follicle.

I'd thought my doctor was crazy, wanting me to wait until cd14-15 to have a follicle check. But I have to admit, rather sheepishly, that yes Virginia, the reproductive endocrinologist knows more than I do! Since I'm typically a later O-er, around cd17-19, I'm really well on track with my body's natural rhythm. I guess I was just hoping that the meds might speed things along. But my doc knew better, and scheduled this first u/s just right.

Dr. McHottie wants my follicle to grow some more, so I go back in two days to check it again. By then, it should be large enough for me to trigger. I'm doing opks at home to make sure I don't surge before then.

And once I trigger, then I'll get to pee on a stick, and see what a positive pregnancy test looks like. Yes, I'm really that pathetic. I know it'll just be the trigger making it positive, but I've never had one, and I wanna see it, damn it.