TTC dream?

Last night I dreamed about an ex-lover, that we went to a porn theater together. Now, I mean the old-fashioned places that were actual small movie theaters that just happened to play dirty movies. So we sat next to one another, and covered up our laps with a fleece blanket. Why fleece, I don't know; maybe it was cold.

Anyway, no, it WASN'T what you're probably thinking. There was no hanky-panky going on; we both kept our hands, and other various and sundry body parts, to ourselves. However, unbeknownst to me, he was keeping his hands to himself, but they were very busy hands. After a few minutes, he shoves back the blanket, hands me a specimen cup with a semen sample, and leaves. I remember that it was a fairly large sample, being 6mL. And yes, somehow this spec. cup had gradient markings on it, so small as to show mL, that I could read. And in a dark movie theater, to boot. I remember feeling quite happy in the dream, because I could rush home and insem. now that I had this lovely fresh sample.

My subconscious is at work, and it isn't even being subtle. I'm 36 days past my miscarriage, with the never-ending cycle. I know the spiel: things aren't normal after a m/c, especially one that was nearly a 2nd trimester loss. I might not ovulate for a couple of cycles. If I do ovulate, I could have a totally short, messed up luteal phase. Etcetera. But I just want to bleed, so I can start a nice fresh cycle, one in which I could TTC, if the stars and planets and life are aligned correctly. And for about 5 days now, I've had a snail trail of fertile cervical mucous, which makes me wonder if this cycle might be getting close to finally ending in the next couple of weeks or so.

I haven't really thought much about sex, nor had an active libido, until the last couple of days. Yes, Ye Olde Libido has returned, and with a vengeance. But the thing is, I feel slightly guilty about it, like having a sex drive is somehow disrespectful. How weird is that?!?