I have a not-so-guilty, not-so-secret pleasure, which is reading romance novels. No matter what else I'm reading, whether it's sci-fi, fantasy, history, or medical, there's always a romance novel in the "reading in progress" stack, too.
I've been hooked on them since I was a pre-teen; back then, much of my time was spent either in the hospital or at home, waiting to see if the latest operation work and if I would be able to walk again. So there was a LOT of spare time to fill. After watching hours of TV and seeing just about every Frankie/Annette & Elvis movie ever made (not a bad thing, mind you, but still... I occasionally have the theme song to "Beach Blanket Bingo" rolling through my head), I started looking for other things to do. My mom read romances, and they were always around, so one day I picked one up and started reading it... and that was that.
By the way, although I don't remember the author or title, I still vividly remember other details about my first romance novel. The cover art had a woman and man sensuously lounging on a white fur rug. The male lead was a Viking warrior, and the female lead was his captured Briton/Christian slave. Yeah, I can't remember my new license plate number, but I can remember that. Oh, and I still remember the prologue to "The Canterbury Tales", and in Middle English to boot!
Where was I? Oh yeah, romances. These days I really like the supernatural/paranormal romance genre: time travel, magic, werewolves, vampires, psi-abilities, etc. It's like I get to have a fantasy novel AND a romance, all wrapped up in one neat package! But there's one thing that always makes me roll my eyes about them. In the ones where one of the characters have some sort of super/hyper senses, there's one tragic love-scene faux pas that almost every author makes:
Heaving, moaning, groaning, sweating, thrusting, etc. Moment of climax, which of course happens simultaneously (hah!). The couple rests, happy in the afterglow. Then five minutes later, either he or she (whichever one is "enhanced") says something to the effect of, "We've just made a baby. I can sense the spark of new life in you/me," or something goofy like that.
Apparently werewolf/vampire/sorceror sperm are so great, that they can go from ejaculate to full fertilization in 5 minutes. All I want to know is, where I can find some super-sperm like that?!?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
yeah, that would be some good sperm. I love romance books too. I call it my mind candy. I can just read and escape life for a while.
I'd be the first to sign up for it. Implantation that moment. POAS an hour later... One can dream...
I think I need to quit reading science fiction and jump to romance novels. I'm missing out!
Ahhh, Kim, have you read the Riley Jensen series by Keri Arthur? It's romance *and* urban fantasy: vampires, weres, shapeshifters, etc. And so far, the heroine hasn't had 'instant conception'. ;-)
Debbe
Though I have to admit that I haven't read a romance novel (what! No romance novels?), this post cracked me up and made me want to run out to learn the secrets of Werewolf sperm.
Excellent point. Every time I read a romance novel where the hero or heroine says, "let's make a baby" and then they do, I honestly wish for a romance novel where they keep the romance alive despite four years of infertility.
p.s. if you find some of that werewolf sperm, can you send it my way?
Me too
And when you find out let me know....its been 5 yrs and I still haven't had conception medically or physically
I read you can find it in Finland. They say there is a town that has the highest sperm count in the world!
OMG that's hysterical. I used to be hooked on those novels and you've nailed that plot point so well! (BTW, I can guarantee that the first romance novel you read was a Johanna Lindsey...I can see that cover in my head so clearly!)
Kim hope all is well - I changed my url on my blog.
Post a Comment