Double (or more) Trouble?

So, it's a brand new cycle for me, and I'm doing something that has me slightly terrified: I'm taking an ovulation-stimulating drug.  My RE figures it'll increase my chances, and while I know he's right and I'm willing to take my chances, I can't deny that the increased chance of multiples scares the snot out of me.  And at the same time, a tiny part of me would be thrilled.  If that ain't sick, I don't know what is.

 

I mean, this is one of those things that's hard to talk about on The Site That Shall Not Be Named.  Everyone there is so desperately trying to conceive, that I feel like an ungrateful whore for thinking, "Man, I would be so freaked out if I got pregnant with twins (or more)."  I see so many younger women on there with all those annoying glittery names and a half-million blinkies (oh Gawd, I could go on for an hour about how much I hate that shit), and almost all of them are hoping that they have twins.  I just don't get it, especially the women who are trying for their first.  The adjustment to becoming a parent is hard enough, without trying to deal with two at a time.  Who honestly wishes for that?!?

 

Don't get me wrong; if I were to get pregnant with twins, I'd be scared but would love those children with every ounce of my being.  I'm just realistic enough to know that as a single parent, it'll be excruciatingly hard.  And to all the women who have had multiples, my hat goes off to you, because you are mommy-warriors of the Light.  You've been through the Valley, and now know that you're the baddest mutha' there.

 

I guess my fear is increased by the fact that I know that I'm already at higher risk for multiples, just naturally.  I'm black, overweight, and older, all of which carry an increased chance of multiples.  Ah well, I'll take whatever I can get.  Maybe if I have a whole bunch of them, I can get a gig in a circus or something.